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Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

RSI 2009

I have still not recovered from RSI, I get numerous flare-ups at completely random intervals. I sometimes think what else have I got to do. I steadily modify my own treatments, increasing and decreasing supplements, exercises of differing types and sleep patterns. Still, when it comes down to it I can’t say that I am cured, that I am like a person without repetitive strain.

I work hard with dumb bells and am lifting 10kg with extreme difficulty but I am doing it. Its painful, I feel weak and its something I have to force myself to do. I often feel like a person with zero energy and little motivation. That’s not because I am depressed, its a sort of lethargy and the feeling of just being permanently tired.

Sometimes I stand up to type because sitting down and standing back up again is just not worth the pain. Still, despite the flair ups, the constant pain, lack of quality sleep, numbness and other various symptoms, there’s no help from my doctor or the NHS as a whole. Instead, the nation suffers because of their incompetence and employers total disregard for the welfare of their staff.

Instead I struggle every day and fight to just have a clear enough mind to think straight. My memory is still absolutely appalling and despite checking things numerous times, I make the odd small error. When strangers pick up on it, I find it embarrassing and really confusing that despite all my checks I still managed to do it wrong.

In a way I feel like I’m twice the age I am. My body could be that of a 70 year old and my fuzziness and days of cloudy thinking could be easily confused as something that is suffering from early stages of dementia. Still, the GP and NHS can offer nothing for treatment or diagnostic assistance. I am left to do it myself, to try things and be a guinea pig. I’m left without any help what so ever and if I wasn’t for those that I live with, I would be totally screwed on those days I can’t even pick up a kettle on water.

I struggle with what I do sometimes, being self employed and writing for a living is really difficult in this recession. I am an affiliate marketer, but this involves so much typing and restricting it to 30 hours a week means I make a poultry income. Its really difficult to keeping my writing time to 30 hours, as historically speaking I would do double that just to make a below average wage.

At the moment I am going through a period of discomfort and my head is all over the place. What do I try next, what is left? I don’t know any more.

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Stress and RSI

Today I woke up in quite a lot of pain and it’s persisted throughout the day. The only way I can describe it is like the easy prickly heat running down my arms into the fingertips. It flows back and forth subtly like a tide from a river, which is very uncomfortable and completely impossible to type with. I know I have to reduce my typing because when that is combined with stress it makes anything many times worse. My stress is directly connected to the company I briefly worked for that hasn’t paid me almost 700 pounds for the time I spend their. I have e-mailed them directly several times and even made a phone call, still there’s no resolution to this problem. The managing director himself appears to be hoping that I will just go away and forget about it. This is not going to happen, though there is a limit to the number of friendly reminders I will be issuing. I have no patience for people or companies that do not honour their own contracts. They expect their employees to be flexible and bend over backwards for them, but they are unable or unwilling to even pay the salary has agreed? I am becoming extremely angry when this company, which is resulting in higher stress levels than ever. I just don’t understand why they are being like this? What is wrong with people nowadays?

This afternoon I sorted out the insurance I would need for the year as a freelancer. Some advice had received suggested that I didn’t need any insurance at all and others said this was absolutely ridiculous. I tend to agree with the latter when it comes to information technology, though I have gone for a lower policy than I was previously quoted for since the new client is a much smaller outfit and has less turnover (therefore less risks). I will be paying £25 a month for the privilege of being insured for business purposes, which easily equivalent of a good satellite TV subscription! My static costs and the moment are quite significant and because of previous employers non payment of my salary cash flow is becoming a problem.

On an interesting note, I have received some interesting CDs from a southern friend  which are supposed to help me to relax and destress. They are meditation audio tracks that you listen to whilst in any up right position with your eyes shut. I’m hoping that I will be able to at least reduce the amount of discomfort I am often on the receiving end of thanks to a combination of stress and repetitive strain syndrome.

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